So for a while now I've been wanting to write about this and I knew I eventually would get around to it. I'm so glad to finally do so. Its a long one too, seeing as it took up 2.5 years of my life, a long blog dedicated to this journey would be expected though. It amazes me how controversial of a topic breastfeeding is. To all the moms out there that formula feed, I want you to know I think you are great moms too. You are providing for your children and taking care of them, so kudos to you. I do think you and your baby are missing out on some rewards that can never be replicated though and my wish for new moms is that they would at least give nursing a try. If its not for you or for some reason you aren’t able to, you should be super proud of yourself for trying. Talk to a lactation specialist first before throwing in the towel though cause they have so many ways of working with you and your baby to make it successful. This blog is in no way meant to offend any mom. It is simply me sharing my experiences of breastfeeding, the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations and what I’ve learned along the way.
My mom told me I was formula fed when I was baby and I’ve turned out pretty good. I have a strong bond with my mom, I’m relatively healthy and well-adjusted. I do kinda wonder what the difference would have been had I been breastfed. I wonder how Skye would have turned out differently if I hadn't breastfed her, and for so long. Even though I was formula fed I knew babies got milk from their mommas. You see other animals get milk from their moms so its not a huge revelation that is what humans do too. As I started to grow up though the idea of formula became more and more the thing to do though. Id babysit and mothers would show me how to mix the formula. I worked in daycare and most of the kids there were given formula. I was kinda confused why should I breastfeed if they sell formula. One thing that scared me about having babies too soon was the cost of feeding them associated with buying formula. This sounds so ridiculous to me now, but maybe I thought you were supposed to breastfeed only up to 1 month old or so and after that there was formula. Now that I think about it I’d say by high school I’d pretty much wiped out the option of ever breastfeeding once I had children and sorta had this image in my head that one day, I too would be mixing formula in bottles.
I’m not sure when the idea of breastfeeding started to sneak back into my mind as an option but I decided my children would be breastfed many, many years before I had Skye. I knew I was going to be determined enough to make it work no matter what. At this time I also thought breast milk was just food with its only purpose being to fill the baby’s stomach. I never would have guessed all the benefits from breastfeeding. I started to hear how it is packed with nutrients and vitamins, easier digestion for the baby, how it increases your baby’s IQ, how it increases the bond between mother and child, how it is helpful in hand-eye coordination, teeth alignment, speech development, lower the risk of many cancers in baby and mom, helps in mom’s post-partum recovery, burns up to 800 extra calories a day, better for the environment, less chance of ear infection, eczema, obesity, so less time and money spent at the hospital.People have always commented to me about how social and friendly Skye is and studies show that breastfeeding does increase children's social skills. I think some babies are just more outgoing that others and so some formula fed babies are going to have good social skills too, but I totally believe breastfeeding Skye had something to do with her social skills.
I was most surprised to learn the medicinal value of breast milk. I didn’t know it could be used on skin rashes, diaper rashes, bug bites, pink eye and other ailments like that since it is sterile. It is also great for cleaning contact lenses. Whodathunkit?? How wrong I was into thinking it was “only food.” This is just the tip of the ice berg. These are benefits for any mom/baby. I found out breastfeeding Skye brought with it its own benefits just for me and Skye; things like just funny little moments. They say two benefits are a smarter, stronger child. There were times I wondered if these were really benefits to have a child smarter and stronger than me by 18 months old!! haha. I also liked the idea of getting out of jury duty if ever summoned, but this is just an Oklahoma law. I never have been called to jury duty though, yet.
The only negative thing I found associated with breastfeeding was that the doctor had to prescribe fluoride drops for Skye's teeth because there is no fluoride in breast milk. But for mothers who mix formula with tap water they are also giving their babies fluoride that is added to the tap water. But her lack of fluoride was easily supplemented with fluoride prescription drops. Quick and easy fix to that problem.
My friend Jenn had her first baby in 2006 or 2007 I think. She started attending a support group for breastfeeding moms and supporters of breastfeeding called La Leche League (LLL). When I was a few months pregnant I started going with Jenn and really enjoyed the comrade of these nursing mothers who were nursing even their “older” toddlers. At the time I found that a little weird but once I learned about the benefits of nursing a toddler I really liked the idea and left that option open for me and my baby depending on how things went once Skye actually got here. I remember one mom talking about her 2 or 3-year-old son getting too rowdy sometimes and she could quickly nurse him and it was like “hitting the snooze button” is how she put it. It seemed to almost instantly calm him down.
They talked about the convenience of it and I really liked that idea. Going shopping and not worrying about forgetting the formula or the bottle at home. Not having to clean so many bottles. Not all the prep time that goes into mixing formula, especially in the middle of the night. Just being able to put the baby to your breast and laying there. Not having to test the temperature of the milk on your wrist. Not getting peeved that you made a bottle and the baby didn’t want it, or left a very small amount. I remember Jenn saying she didn’t feel obligated to make her baby drink every drop of breast milk cause there was plenty more where it came from. She is also big into saving money and not being wasteful. She said if she spent $30 on a can of formula it would really bug her if every drop wasn’t used. So if one ounce was still left in the bottle it would really irritate her if her baby didn’t drink it. Breastfeeding moms don’t have to worry about that. So many little things like this really appealed to me.
I quickly became very attached to my LLL group. It was nice to hear about their struggles and advice. It was nice to be able to laugh with them about some of their experiences. It was great to be able to turn to them when I had a question about what medicines to take or how to conceal myself better. O, just a tip- If I was out in public I refused to breastfeed Skye in the bathroom. Ok, well sometimes I did but only if it was the last resort. I was more comfortable using the dressing rooms, preferably the largest one or the handicap one. That way I could sit down and have my stroller in there too if I needed it. I turned to Jenn a lot too. I loved having a friend I could call with the silliest most random questions and she’d be so happy to answer them for me.
Even though breast milk is such a super-food, I also had to learn how fragile it is. For pumping mothers, like me, it can spoil quickly if not stored properly. Once it is put in the bottle it should not be heated in the microwave or shaken in the bottle. It has to be heated slowly and stirred gently so you don’t break down the fat and nutrients. There were many guidelines I had to learn about that applied to pumping. That was kinda overwhelming at first but interesting in some aspects. Once I got the hang of it, it was no big deal.
On February 5th, 2009 at 8:46 that evening I gave birth to Savannah Skye Wilson. O God! How quickly I did fall in love with this little girl! I knew almost instantly Id do anything for her and protect her till my last dying breath. The lactation nurse starting working with me and Skye that evening. We had a little bit of a problem. They could tell Skye was doing her part just fine but she had some problem finding my nipple. Its pretty smooth and doesn’t really perk up like most mom’s nipples do. It was pretty scary for me to see this cause I was so determined to make it work.
They gave me a silicone tip thing to put on my boob and it made it a lot easier for Skye to be able to find the milk supply. I found out later on these tips are kind of controversial in the breastfeeding world but its what I had to do to make it work so I’m thrilled that such a tool was available to me for Skye. I couldn’t go anywhere without this nipple thing though and that was kind of scary. Sometimes when I needed it I couldn’t find it, especially in the middle of the night. A few times I left it at home and had to go all the way back to get it. So, I didn’t have the total convenience of breastfeeding like some moms did but that’s ok. We still made it work.
The one and only time Skye was given formula was when she was just about a week old and she had to be readmitted to the hospital for Jaundice. She was so tiny. I think her weight had actually fallen below 5 lbs. The nurse told me I needed to give her formula cause it helped the jaundice somehow. I told the nurse I would give her the formula but I was totally lying just so the nurse would stop talking about it. I had no intention on feeding her any formula ever. Then the nurse took my baby from me and showed me how to use the tiny bottles of prepared/pre-mixed formula. Im still mad at myself for letting the nurse feed her the formula. I was only 1 week post-partum though and was still pretty doped up and emotional. I just kinda wanted to leave ASAP without fighting the nurse.
I breastfed her that night and used the prescribed lightbed to make her bilirubin count go down. When we went back to the hospital the next day it turned out her jaundice was in fact getting better. I was given a pump and the nurse showed me how to use it. It was quite the puzzle at first!! I easily pumped out enough to fill an entire bottle. The nurses and docs were impressed by how much milk I already had. They thought surely it was only colostrum but when they saw it they told me it was in fact milk. I was pretty impressed with myself and my mammary glands!!
It takes lots of water to produce breast milk!! Nursing would make me soooo thirsty. I knew if I sat down with Skye there was a good chance she would fall asleep and Id be “trapped” on the couch with her. So I tried to keep things within arms reach and water was on the top of my list. I found it fascinating how my body was able to turn water into milk. I kinda felt a little like Jesus turning water to wine. Lol
I cant tell you how much I loved nursing her. I remember one of the moms in LLL saying she knew she was going to breastfeed, but she didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as she did. I felt the same way. I loved getting to spend this time with her. I loved holding her, I loved gazing into her eyes and brushing her hair out of her face. I loved humming and singing to her. I loved feeling her little baby paws on my breast. I loved the idea of being so important to someone. I mean she depended solely on me for food and water and I took that responsibility very serious. I loved taking baths with her and being able to nurse her in the tub. I loved watching her grow. As a baby she pretty much just spanned the width of my belly, now as a toddler her legs dangle off my legs onto the couch cushion. I loved having a way to sooth her like nothing else could do. I would let her nurse during and after immunization shots and it really seemed to help her. Shots are the worst thing for parents to go through with their children so having a way to ease her pain was comforting to me and it seemed to be comforting to her. The bond breastfeeding creates between mother and child is something I will never take for granted. Its the most special memory in the world to me that I share with Skye.
Breastfeeding definitely has its challenges too. But I think you can make the most out of any situation, even those involving breastfeeding. And if you can work through them or turn them into a positive you’ll find breastfeeding to be so rewarding. I was always comfortable breastfeeding in front of my mom but not some of the rest of my family. So if I was at someone else’s house I felt like I had to go to the backroom and isolate myself from everyone. I didn’t like feeling like a leper. I didn’t like not being able to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. Moms who formula feed can make a couple bottles and someone else take over. I could pump, but if I could nurse I’d prefer to do that. I did eventually learn how to lay on my side though and let Skye nurse as I fell back to sleep. It was kinda hard to do that with the nipple thingy though.
I tried a few times to nurse without the silicone nipple just to see if she could find my nipple and it took a while but right around 7 weeks old she was finally able to nurse without it. I was so happy. The ironic part was that my maternity leave was almost up and I’d be returning to work soon. So now that she finally knew how to nurse 100% naturally she’d have to learn how to use a bottle when my mom watched her during the day. She had used a bottle a few times so I knew she’d be able to but I was still a little worried she’d stop nursing from me all together like some children do.
My mom bought me my pump and I started pumping while I was still on maternity leave. I felt like I had pumped months worth of milk but Lisa, the nurse who came to check on me and Skye told me it was only about a weeks worth. Man, babies eat a lot!!
Going back to work I had no choice but to pump if I wanted to continue to breastfeed. I knew so many of the benefits of just nursing baby to breast were being lost but I did the best I could. I hated being away from Skye for 10 hours a day but found some reassurance knowing part of me was with her. She knew this milk came from mommy. So even though I wasn’t there, there was a part of me with her to comfort her. I think we both took comfort in that.
Skye was about 10 months old when she started getting overnight visitations with her dad. I would write a little note on the milk bag for her just to let her know I loved her and would always be with her and thinking of her. I hated giving him my milk. I didn’t trust he was using it or even knew how to use it. But I just had to tell myself he was. And it helped calm me down some knowing a part of me was with her while she was in an unfamiliar place with someone she hardly knew. When I got her back the first thing I would do was nurse her and reassure her I was still here for her. I cant tell you how special this time was for me and Skye. She always came back from these visits very “altered” and I felt like nursing was first thing I could do to try to get her back to feeling secure and back to her normal routine of things. (Some of my own personal benefits of breastfeeding.)
Some money goes into breastfeeding if you pump, still cheaper than formula though. But buying the pump, the supplies, the bags and things like that add up too. I think total I spent maybe $500ish. There was also some bottle cleaning involved now. Since mom watched her during the day while I was at work she was really the only person that had to worry about washing bottles. So the only bottles I had to clean were the ones I used to pump into and the rest of the pumping equipment. Washing all the parts did get old quick but I didn’t mind. Kinda like changing diapers. You do it and get it over with and no biggie.
Pumping at work was definitely a sacrifice and stressful at times. Giving up my breaks, trying to find a private place to go so I wouldn't be walked in on (which happened about 3 or 4 times. I got over it, but still, those poor men must be traumatized for life!!), not really being able to wear dresses (unless I wanted to be totally naked.) because some dresses were much more difficult to lift up than just a shirt.
Once I was transferred to this dingy warehouse to work in and was told I'd have to pump in the bathroom. 1st-Thats totally illegal according to the US Dept of Labor Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA). 2nd-Next time you go into a public bathroom take notice of how few, if any electrical outlets there are. Or where they are placed-I sometimes I had no choice but to pump in a bathroom or locker room. The outlets are near the floor and if there was no shelving I had to put my pump on the floor and sit on the floor. Or the outlets are by the mirrors so you can do your hair, not ideal for pumping though. If pumping mothers use these then they totally sacrifice any privacy; leaving themselves naked and vulnerable to anyone who walks in. (I work at the Health Dept and this is not their stance on breastfeeding, this was coming from an ill-advised warehouse employee. I gave him some quick on the spot education though.) And for me, it really was more embarrassing getting walked in on during pumping than actually breastfeeding. The pump makes this loud sound, it doesn't conceal the breast like a baby does, overall it just doesn't feel as natural as actually nursing.
I always loved the places that clearly went out of their way and designated a spot for breasfeeding mothers. Those places that put a lot of thought into what a breastfeeding mom needed. My deepest gratitude to those few places.
I had to remember to bring my pump and all of its parts (a few times I forgot just one little piece and it really made it difficult to pump.), the bags to store the milk in, the insulated bag to keep the milk in and the ice pack to keep the milk cool so I could get it back home and it not spoil. I work at the Health Department and they are obviously big supporters of breastfeeding so I was glad to work for such a breastfeeding friendly place. I gave up my breaks at work and part of my lunch break so I could pump. I traveled a lot though and this made it difficult to always a find a place to pump. I often had to find a receptionist or someone like that and ask them if there was a private room with an outlet where I could plug in my pump. It was kind of embarrassing having to ask but I just got over it and knew I was doing something good for Skye, even though I couldn't be with her as much as I wanted I knew I was doing something for her and she was always on my mind. I was determined and I made it work. A few times I left a full bag of milk in my car overnight and I was so mad at myself for wasting milk like that. Well at least it was free and I would always make some more. Still though.
Once I was transferred to this dingy warehouse to work in and was told I'd have to pump in the bathroom. 1st-Thats totally illegal according to the US Dept of Labor Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA). 2nd-Next time you go into a public bathroom take notice of how few, if any electrical outlets there are. Or where they are placed-I sometimes I had no choice but to pump in a bathroom or locker room. The outlets are near the floor and if there was no shelving I had to put my pump on the floor and sit on the floor. Or the outlets are by the mirrors so you can do your hair, not ideal for pumping though. If pumping mothers use these then they totally sacrifice any privacy; leaving themselves naked and vulnerable to anyone who walks in. (I work at the Health Dept and this is not their stance on breastfeeding, this was coming from an ill-advised warehouse employee. I gave him some quick on the spot education though.) And for me, it really was more embarrassing getting walked in on during pumping than actually breastfeeding. The pump makes this loud sound, it doesn't conceal the breast like a baby does, overall it just doesn't feel as natural as actually nursing.
I always loved the places that clearly went out of their way and designated a spot for breasfeeding mothers. Those places that put a lot of thought into what a breastfeeding mom needed. My deepest gratitude to those few places.
I had to remember to bring my pump and all of its parts (a few times I forgot just one little piece and it really made it difficult to pump.), the bags to store the milk in, the insulated bag to keep the milk in and the ice pack to keep the milk cool so I could get it back home and it not spoil. I work at the Health Department and they are obviously big supporters of breastfeeding so I was glad to work for such a breastfeeding friendly place. I gave up my breaks at work and part of my lunch break so I could pump. I traveled a lot though and this made it difficult to always a find a place to pump. I often had to find a receptionist or someone like that and ask them if there was a private room with an outlet where I could plug in my pump. It was kind of embarrassing having to ask but I just got over it and knew I was doing something good for Skye, even though I couldn't be with her as much as I wanted I knew I was doing something for her and she was always on my mind. I was determined and I made it work. A few times I left a full bag of milk in my car overnight and I was so mad at myself for wasting milk like that. Well at least it was free and I would always make some more. Still though.
I did like the idea of forcing myself to break though. I brought some pictures of Skye with me and would turn on some quiet music and spend that 20 minutes or so of pumping just thinking about her and her sweet little face. For 3 times a day at work I drifted off to a really special place in my mind where I could still hear her cooing, smell her skin, see her eyes. I loved thinking about her. I loved the idea that even though I was away from her, I was still able to do something directly for her. It made me feel like a good mom. (Again, lemme say, I don’t think if you feed your baby formula you are a bad mom. I’m just explaining the way breastfeeding made me feel.)
Almost the very first thing I would do after getting home from work was to sit down with Skye and nurse her. I’d miss her so much and it was so wonderful to spend this time with her in my arms after even the crappiest work days. This really got interesting as months pasted and she got older and stronger. She would really wiggle around while nursing, getting into some of the funniest positions. Mom and I would crack up at her. She would arch her back, stick her fanny up in the air, kick her legs like she had restless legs syndrome, roll around, all still while she was latched on. I’m sure the lactation specialist that worked with us when she was first born, that showed us proper position to nurse in, would not have approved of our altered positions!! LoL.
When Skye started teething she bit me a couple times. Wholly fucking shit!! It felt like having a car battery hooked up to me and getting shocked for a millisecond. She was probably close to 6 months old or so the first time this happened I wasn’t sure what happened. The second time it happened it was a little longer and a little harder and I screamed bloody murder. I pulled Skye off me and scared the crap out of her. I felt so bad. I didn’t mean to scare her it was just a reflex. I’m not lying; she went on a nursing strike for like 24 hours. She only let my mom feed her from a bottle I had pumped earlier. I was really scared I had ruined it. Id put her to my breast and she'd turn away or start whimpering. My mom said it was like she’d been beaten or something. I felt awful. I just kept offering it to her and I think she finally got hungry enough and finally started to nurse again. What a relief to have her nurse again. I’m so glad we stuck to it and work through that little issue.
When she was 8 months old I had developed kidney stones. This did not mix well with breastfeeding. During the process of being diagnosed I had to drink some nasty stuff so they could take an xray and see the stones. I wasn’t allowed to nurse for 24 hours after this. Also, after my surgery I had to refrain from nursing due to the anesthesia. We put a huge dent in our frozen stored up milk supply and I was really worried Skye would forget how to nurse. It was such a relief after my surgery to have her nurse again. I remember sitting down with her and her immediately taking to my breast. I was so happy almost cried. I remember looking up at my mom and saying, “She didn’t forget how to.” It had been really hard for me those 24 hours to hold her and she wanted to nurse but I had to tell her no. I was so relived once all the kidney stone mess finally cleared up.
We had gone through a LOT of our frozen milk though after this surgery so I actually started pumping at midnight. Skye was sleeping through the night at this point so I realized I was going about 6-8 hours without pumping or nursing so I figured I could squeeze in an extra session of pumping to get out a little more and still have time to replenish Skye's supply for her morning nursing session. So even though Skye was sleeping through the night, I still was not. When I told my doctor about this she asked me not to do that cause it was just too stressful on me and I needed to get some rest. She was worried about my high blood pressure. Most of that was because of the child custody case but I wasn't helping anything. I still pumped at midnight though. I was just trying so hard to give Skye the best and be the best mom I could. I think all moms put that pressure on ourselves.
We had gone through a LOT of our frozen milk though after this surgery so I actually started pumping at midnight. Skye was sleeping through the night at this point so I realized I was going about 6-8 hours without pumping or nursing so I figured I could squeeze in an extra session of pumping to get out a little more and still have time to replenish Skye's supply for her morning nursing session. So even though Skye was sleeping through the night, I still was not. When I told my doctor about this she asked me not to do that cause it was just too stressful on me and I needed to get some rest. She was worried about my high blood pressure. Most of that was because of the child custody case but I wasn't helping anything. I still pumped at midnight though. I was just trying so hard to give Skye the best and be the best mom I could. I think all moms put that pressure on ourselves.
Some moms suffer from chapped nipples or mastitis or other complications. I’m so thankful I never really had anything too serious like this happen to me. I love hearing stories of how other nursing moms suffered from things like this but still worked through them and didn’t give up. And usually the way of working through them somehow involved using breastmilk. (i.e. rubbing milk on the nipples helps them not be chapped and breastfeeding helps the mastitis go away.)So yeah, I know breastfeeding has its cons, I had my own bad experiences. For me and many other moms, the pros far outweigh the cons though.
When I first started breastfeeding I didn’t know how long I would breastfeed for. It would kinda bug me how Skye’s doctors would ask me how long I planned to breastfeed. Almost insinuating most moms should think about quitting. Many moms will put an end date in their head (6 weeks, 6 months, 1 year.) I sorta had 1 year in my head but not as a quit date. That was more of a date to evaluate the situation and see how we were doing.
So come Feb 5th ,2010 it was very clear neither Skye or myself were anywhere close to giving up breastfeeding so I decided to keep going. I read somewhere how healthy it was for a toddler to nurse and taking away breast milk just because they are getting older is equivalent to taking away vegetables once they get older. You don’t tell a teenager to stop eating spinach once they are 15. Spinach is still super healthy for them so why would you tell them to stop? And some people would also say they hate spinach and say its gross, the same way some people probably feel about nursing but that doesn’t make it wrong or unhealthy. I also don’t want to give up breastfeeding cause once its over, its over. Its very difficult to start lactating again. So once I do stop I want to be 100% sure it’s the right thing and right time to do so. So for now my hormones can still keep making the milk.
Skye is 2 ½ now. She has gone from nursing every 2-3 hours to about once a day, sometime once every other day. So we have pretty much hit the weaning stage I think. She eats 3 meals a day plus grazes on fruits, veggies, crackers, cheerios and other snacky types of food all day long it seems. We nurse right before bed for about 5 minutes. Its really more of just a healthy snack for her. It soothes her right before bedtime and she has come to think of this as part of her routine. She rolls off my lap after nursing and walks almost immediately to her room and lays down on her bed after we nurse. It signals the end of the day to her and seems to make putting her to bed very easy on both of us. Its been about a week since the last time we nursed and I’m thinking that was probably the last time I’ll hold my baby to my breast to let her nurse. August 22nd, 2011
I love being the mom of a nursing toddler. I wish there was more info out there about nursing toddlers. The WHO recommends to nurse until 2 but I just wish there was more info about it. Most breastfeeding information is geared towards newborns and don’t talk much about the benefits of nursing a toddler.
A friend of mine posted something on facebook about The Big Latch On. The Norman La Leche League sponsored it and it was held on August 6th, 2011 in Andrews Park in Norman, Okla by the library. The goal was to ultimately set a world record for the most mothers nursing simultaneously around the world. Different locations hosted the event and even though we didn't set the world record I was so privileged to be a part of it.
The day had a breakfast buffet, a few games for the kids, playing in the park, face painting, pictures...typical stuff like that. It was a good morning. I think Skye might have been the oldest baby their who actually nursed. She had just turned 30 months old the day before. I was a little worried she might not nurse since it wasn't right before bed but she did just fine.
For me this really marked the end of my nursing days. She nursed a few more times after the Big Latch On but the setting really kind of made it a big deal and was almost ceremonial. (Kinda like these farewell ceremonies for the troops who actually dont leave town for a few more weeks). the Big Latch On was our farewell ceremony.
I'm so glad I was able to nurse for so long. I'm so glad I had the support system in place that allowed Skye to nurse for so long, my mother and my family, my LLL group-especially Jenn, my job-The Oklahoma State Department of Health, and other mothers who just gave me those random pats on the back for being a nursing mom (those meant a lot.)
The day had a breakfast buffet, a few games for the kids, playing in the park, face painting, pictures...typical stuff like that. It was a good morning. I think Skye might have been the oldest baby their who actually nursed. She had just turned 30 months old the day before. I was a little worried she might not nurse since it wasn't right before bed but she did just fine.
For me this really marked the end of my nursing days. She nursed a few more times after the Big Latch On but the setting really kind of made it a big deal and was almost ceremonial. (Kinda like these farewell ceremonies for the troops who actually dont leave town for a few more weeks). the Big Latch On was our farewell ceremony.
I'm so glad I was able to nurse for so long. I'm so glad I had the support system in place that allowed Skye to nurse for so long, my mother and my family, my LLL group-especially Jenn, my job-The Oklahoma State Department of Health, and other mothers who just gave me those random pats on the back for being a nursing mom (those meant a lot.)
